We're all sick of this COVID-19 junk. Am I right? There is nothing I hate more about this whole cluster than the fact that I feel like in some ways I have been robbed. I know I am not alone in this...
What am I most sad/angry/confused/disappointed about, you ask...
1. Worshiping my Lord and Savior at my church as a family.
Anyone who has ever seen me in a worship service knows I cannot stand still. I sway, bounce, rock, and tap my feet. The joy of feeling the Holy Spirit at work, the goosebumps, my eyes filling with tears while being softly reminded that I am loved more than I could ever imagine by a God who is bigger than I could ever understand; that is what worship does to me and for me. It has been far too long since I have had that physical reminder. Many times during worship I would sing, sway, and pray about motherhood. I would pray and ask/beg God to make me a mother. I dreamed about swaying and singing with my child in my arms and my husband next to me. I have not gotten to experience that yet. Sitting on the couch in my pajamas while halfway listening to the sermon (yes, I'll admit it...you should too) is just not the same...
2. Introducing my son to the most amazing time of the year...College Football Season.
I know, I know! "Be optimistic. It's not official." But how about let's be realistic. It ain't gonna happen. We can't even figure out how to get kids back in schools safely. The saddest part about this whole thing is that Drew and I both sat at college football games as babies. We have never known anything but Saturdays in the fall consisting of tailgating and football. College football is a HUGE part of our life that we cannot have our son experience, yet. Plus, the camera man only puts precious babies always get on the Jumbotron anymore so...
3. CommonGround Montgomery Mission Trip.
For five years we have traveled there to love on their community, their leaders, and most importantly their kiddos. Every year as we pack our cars to head back home I hug the kids and tell them, "I will see you next year. I love you." This year I broke that promise to them. One thing I learned about kids when I was teaching is that they do not respond well to broken promises, especially those kiddos who have almost always been shown nothing but broken promises. They have a hard time trusting because of those many broken promises. I, we (our team), had earned their trust by continuing to show up year after year. This year, we didn't show up. Do the kids know and understand the real reason? Not that it's just another person who broke a promise?
4. Weekly gatherings with those that I love and want Jaylen to know and love.
The wine nights, Small Group meetings, community activities, family dinners, sporting events, and even work are all gone. I looked forward to these weekly! They made the weeks fly by. Being surrounded by those we love is so incredibly important to Drew and I. We wrote a million times in our profile book how we have an open door policy and people are always at our home enjoying time with friends and family we love. We sure didn't lie...but it feels like we did! I have never been so hesitant to have an "open door policy" before in my life! And I don't like it.
Oh, there's one final thing... The freaking sense of security and sanity I used to have!
No need for an explanation here...we've all gone a little mad. Every day is a ping pong match, as a good friend said today.
Do I go? Do I stay?
Should plan for September, or wait and see?
What if this gets worse? What if it really is due to media hype?
It's just a restaurant, right? Nope, it's a cesspool of germs.
This control freak is freaking out and thinks it's time we serve this COVID-19 an eviction notice. Your time is up. Pack your belongings and go. See ya. Bye!